


No statute of limitation

by legolastariel



Series: Say 'Yes' trilogy [1]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Anxiety, Fear, First Kiss, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Heartache, Heavy Angst, M/M, Negan's psycho terror
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-05
Updated: 2017-03-05
Packaged: 2018-09-28 13:05:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10102121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/legolastariel/pseuds/legolastariel
Summary: “If Daryl does turn up here … two days from now, two months from now, hell, two years from now … Just know there’s no statute of limitation to this. And it won’t turn out the way it did for your boy.”“It’s not over”, Rick said with a pained expression on his handsome face. “You’re an orange situation, Daryl, and Simon made sure we understood that there is no statute of limitation to this. It’s a manhunt and it will never be over for as long as you live.”“Lemme process this. Yer sayin’ they gonna keep on watchin’ for me till they either got me or ‘m dead? But ... I ain’t never gonna go home then, man. I got nowhere ta go, nowhere ta hide. Gonna be lookin’ over ma shoulder every damn second of the day … That ain’t no fuckin’ life, Rick. Lemme go home just for tanight. So ‘s I can see everybody and say good-bye. – First thing tomorrow ‘m gonna turn maself in."Running out of choices Daryl makes a fatal decision. One that might save his life, but could also instantly seal his doom.He and Rick are about to find out which it is when Negan and his men come knocking ...





	1. I thought you should know

**Author's Note:**

> I'd like to send a huge amount of gratitude (and tissues) to my lovely beta stylepoints, who's been working on this piece despite having the flu and being sick as a dog. Thank you so much for your help, dear, and get well soon!!!
> 
> This is an extended version of episode 7x9. It's a little outdated by now, but with 7x12 coming up I figured this fandom is in dire need of every RICKYL story there is. It's not fluff and butterflies as you can tell from the tags, but it's _them_.  
>  You may bite one or the other nail, so brace yourselves, but there are sweet moments, too.

_** No statute of limitation ** _

 

            “I’m going back”, Rick said determinedly the moment Alexandria’s gate had closed behind Simon and his men.

Until that moment he hadn’t even noticed that his hands were balled to fists and that his teeth had been clenched, so he breathed in deep to regain his composure. The violent beating of his heart remained though despite his attempts to calm down. 

         _“It won’t turn out the way it did for your boy.”_

Rick heard Simon’s threat echo in the back of his mind and shuddered once more to the imagination the Savior’s innuendo had evoked. There was no room for interpretation, no doubt as to what exactly was going to happen if the Saviors ever caught Daryl inside these walls.    
Negan was furious, he would never let it pass that Daryl _spurned his hospitality_ – he had signed the archer’s death sentence and he wouldn’t rest until it was carried out. 

         “You gonna do _what_?”

Michonne’s voice barely even registered, while Rick’s thoughts and emotions were in turmoil. 

         _“If Daryl does turn up here … two days from now, two months from now, hell, two years from now … Just know there’s no statute of limitation to this.”_

It was never going to end. As long as the Saviors existed, the man hunt would never be off. Daryl would have to live looking over his shoulder for the rest of his days, never safe _anywhere_ in this part of the country, maybe nowhere at all. 

         “You’ve heard me – I’m going back”, Rick repeated stubbornly and without even waiting for a reply turned to head over to the nearest available vehicle.

Michonne and Rosita simultaneously stepping in his way stopped him before he reached it. He cast them a scowl. 

         “ _What_ are you doing?” Rosita demanded to know, not at all happy to get an annoyed snort from Rick in response.

         “Look”, the leader addressed the assembled group, “I _know_ what you’re gonna say. That we need to find a solution to eliminate the Savior problem and I _agree,_ now more than ever. But we’re only getting little help from the Hilltop and none from the Kingdom and at this point I don’t have the answers.”

         “Then why do you wanna go back to the Kingdom?” Tara asked gently.

Her inflection as well as her expression were soft, gentle, _understanding._ Did the others _really_ not realize why Rick needed to head back there? Were they all thus focussed on the war and the urgent need to find allies that they totally lost sight of the fact that there was _more?_

Sure, the safety and wellbeing of every man, woman and child of three communities was at stake, but that didn’t change the fact that Daryl Dixon was one of them – and to Rick he was the priority. Simple as that.   
There was nothing he could have done to win the war tonight, but he needed to do all he could to not lose Daryl. She understood him so well. If Denise was here now, she’d agree.

         “We just left him there”, Rick croaked out at that moment, his inflection heartbreakingly sad. “ _I_ did.”

         “Because he’s safe there”, Michonne replied with her usual stern expression.

         “There is no guaranteed safety _anywhere._ ”

         “You heard what Ezekiel said – the Saviors never set foot into the Kingdom.”

         “And Daryl was right to doubt that was gonna last.”

         “You heading over there twice in one day may draw suspicion if we are being watched. The Saviors know you and they know you and Daryl are close. They ain’t stupid. I’m not even sure they bought that we didn’t know he ran. They may wait out there, see where we go and what we do. You may lead them to Daryl without knowing it.”

         “I’ll be careful! I’ll take the back roads, drive a detour, I’ll _walk_ if I have to – he needs to be warned.”  
He pointed at the gate the Saviors had just disappeared through.  
         “You heard what that jackass said! Carl told us about Dwight and about that Mark dude and how they got punished. Daryl may assume he’d be taken back to Negan and punished in like ways if they were to catch him. He doesn’t _know_ Negan wants blood and … and how he’s gonna die.”

His hand subconsciously touched the hatchet on his belt and he shuddered when he realized it. He pulled back as though he’d been electrified. 

         “That’ll put you in danger as well”, Rosita said with a frown.

         “I understand your concerns”, Rick added with a sigh a moment later. “But I need to see him.”  
He swallowed thickly against a lump in his throat.  
         “You know how he grew up, what he was put through and you saw what condition he’s in now. Carl _told_ us what he saw them do to him and I’m sure there was more. He’s blaming himself for Glenn’s death and he was all alone in there, exposed to all of their cruelty without anyone to talk to, without ever getting a break, with no familiar face around. Not a moment of peace. And just when he’s finally back with us, we leave him behind with new strangers, in another unknown place. Did you see the look in his eyes when we walked away? You didn’t even say a word to him! None of you.” 

It sounded like an accusation and maybe it was.  
Rick saw one or the other of his comrades open their mouth to protest, but in the end they kept quiet. It was true, after all. They did leave without looking back, without saying a single word of farewell or encouragement to Daryl. They had been so wrapped up in their worries about the Saviors that it had totally skipped their attention that one of them had been their prisoner just recently, had to go through hell at their hands – and it was the very same person who was left alone now once again. 

         “He knows we’ll be back for him”, Michonne tried to reason with Rick once more, but was silenced by his icy glare.

         “Doesn’t change a thing. The Saviors could show up at the Kingdom’s doorstep first thing tomorrow and he needs to know. _Ezekiel_ needs to know. And … “, he broke off at a loss for words, shifting his weight helplessly from one foot to the other. “And … I …”

         “You wanna be with him?” Tara offered, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. 

She was well aware of the ambiguity of her words as well as the surprised and somewhat suspicious glances the others cast her, but when Rick just nodded wordlessly her previous ghost of a smile turned into a wide one.

         “Then go for it! Er, I mean, you should go to the Kingdom and … er, _talk_ to Daryl. Now.” 

Both Tara and Rick were totally aware of several brows being knitted around them as their family tried to figure out if Tara was really saying what she was saying. Rick decided to let them ponder on that a while longer. It would keep them busy and distracted, since he had no desire to be bothered with questions he didn’t have the answer to. 

         “I’ll be back as soon as possible”, he just said with a cut nod in the group’s direction, before he brushed past Michonne and Rosita and headed to the car. On passing her he cast Tara a short smile and winked at her, unseen by the others. She pressed her lips together in order to suppress a smirk despite the serious situation and had her hands disappear into her pants’ pockets. No doubt she would have loved to give him the brofist just now.

 

Rick parked the car at the rendevouz point Jesus had led them to only hours ago and turned off the engine with a heavy sigh.  
There was an unnerving tickling sensation in the back of his neck as though numerous eyes were on him, watching his every move. If that wasn’t just his imagination, he hoped it wasn’t the Saviors, but some of the Kindom people. 

The sound of hooves and the shadows of two horses approaching had him let out the breath he’d been holding. Slowly he opened the door and got out, his hands raised so they would see he was unarmed.   
Before he could even say a word, a familiar voice addressed him.

         “Rick?” Richard’s inflection was clearly peppered by surprise. 

When his horse stopped next to the other man he gave him a scrutiny, before asking:

         “What happened?”

He clearly dreaded the answer.

         “Nothing. _Yet._ But I need to see Daryl.”

         “Thank God”, Richard slipped, biting his lip for the remark almost instantly.

         “What’s that supposed to mean?” Rick probed with a frown.

The horseman let his breath out with an audibly puff and then said cautiously:

         “Let’s just say Daryl isn’t too thrilled about being _dumped_ here and he hasn’t missed a chance to let it show.”

Rick sighed.

         “Guess that means he and Ezekiel aren’t braiding each other’s hair yet, huh?” 

         “They’re _in_ each other’s hair alright”, Richard answered sternly. “The King is a very patient man, but if your friend keeps it up, he’s likely to be fed to Shiva any day now.” 

Rick sighed again.

         “It’s not his fault. He’s been through too much lately and I shouldn’t have left him here.”

         “I thought you said the Saviors were looking for him.”

         “They are. But it’s worse than I thought and the walls of the Kingdom are not gonna stop them if they expect to find him here. He’s in danger here, too. You all are. Which is why I need to talk to him right away. And Ezekiel, too.”

It was Richard’s turn to sigh.

         “God, I’m so tired of those pricks. I wonder what’s it gonna take for the King to realize that we need to do something about them. Soon. – C’mon.”

 

As soon as they had passed the gate and it had closed behind them, Richard dismounted, left his horse to the care of his companion and with a tip of his head prompted Rick to follow him.  
Silently they proceeded down the street, rounded several corners and passed numerous buildings. This town was larger than Rick had expected and he could only guess how many people lived here. Surely enough to support them, enough to start building an army, enough to have a chance to end the dominion of the Saviors and free the communities, so Daryl could come home. Yet Ezekiel did nothing.  
Rick could totally understand Daryl’s fury and frustration.

The King’s right-hand man led him through an overgrown gate into a fenced-in area behind the main building of the Kingdom. In awe Rick looked around himself at the beautiful arrangement of blooming bushes, fruit trees and flowers, all of them emitting an enchanting scent. 

         “This is King Ezekiel’s garden”, Richard explained to Alexandria’s leader. “It’s his refuge, so usually he doesn’t allow anyone to come here, but Daryl … he’s not the type who likes to hang out with people, is he?”

Rick’s lips twitched.

         “I guess that _showed_ quite quickly, too?”

         “Oh, man, yes, it did. His way of pacing like a caged big cat and that killer scowl would even shame Shiva. He seemed to be more at ease in here, so Ezekiel let him stay.”

The Alexandrian’s heart grew heavy. He knew Daryl didn’t want to stay here, which was understandable, but leaving him here had been for his own good. Rick had told himself so time and time again ever since the gate of the Kingdom had closed behind him, but he hadn’t been able to convince himself for one single moment.   
His intentions had been good, sure, but by now he knew Daryl well enough to be able to relate to the archer’s thoughts and emotions and the Kingdom wasn’t a refuge to Daryl. It was just another kind of cell.   
          
Maybe he’d made a mistake, but that wasn’t the only reason why he came back here.  
Rick missed Daryl, simple as that. He had only just gotten him back and had to say good-bye only few hours later and, as Carl would have put it, that sucked. He was tired of losing him, tired of being separated, tired of not having him by his side _always_ and the look in Daryl’s eyes had made it crystal clear that the archer felt the same way. It was time to do something about _that._

The Saviors were a problem for another day . There was nothing he could do about them now, but he’d be damned if he let Daryl get hurt ever again and even be the one who caused that pain. 

Richard stopped after a few feet and pointed into the green wilderness.

         “Go ahead. He’s somewhere in there”, the Kingdom fighter said while vaguely wiggling his hand toward the bushes. “I’ll let the King know you’re here.”

That said he quickly disappeared back the way they came, like someone who had accidentally stepped into a pond full of piranhas. A smile tugged at Rick’s lips. Daryl seemed to be in an extremely bad mood.   
He proceeded further into the garden and a moment later stepped out into a small yard with a comfortable looking bench to one side and two fire bowls, of which one was lit and emitted a warm and soothing glow. Before he had time to look around himself further, a round object came flying his way and almost stopped his heart. He caught it nimbly in a reflex move, hoping it wasn’t a hand grenade, and smiled the moment he gave it a closer look.

         “Thanks”, he said, the smile clearly peppering his inflection, “but I hate pomegranate.” 

         “Rick?” 

Daryl appeared from behind one of the pomegranate bushes and slowly walked up to the leader. 

The younger man couldn’t help thinking that the archer reminded him a lot of how Carl used to look whenever the principal of his school had called Rick in, because Carl had been in a fight with other boys or in any other way gone against the rules.  
There had always been this mixture of shame and fear on his face in combination with stubborness, anger and defiance. Daryl had the very same expression just now.   
He knew it had been for his own good to be left here, knew it was nice enough of Ezekiel to grant him asylum, knew it was anything but helpful to rebel and tick His Majesty off, but he couldn’t help himself. 

Without a word or any hesitation Rick met him halfway, pulled Daryl into his arms and hugged him tight. It was their second hug that day, the second hug they had shared in all the time they’d known each other and in that moment Rick decided that he didn’t want another day without hugging Daryl, without having him close, without looking into his eyes, without _Daryl_.   
For a second he expected the archer to pull back, to tense up, but almost instantly Daryl responded in like ways and wrapped his arms around the younger man, pulling him close. He buried his face on Rick’s shoulder the way he had that morning and breathed in deep, as though he meant to inhale him.

         “Thanks for comin’ back.”

         “I hadda see you.” Rick swallowed against the lump in his throat. “Shouldn’t have left you in the first place. I meant well, you know that, thought I was doing the right thing, but …”

         “What changed your mind?” Daryl asked softly. 

Rick pulled back so he could look the other man in the eyes, not releasing him entirely though.   
He breathed in deep.

         “They were there, in Alexandria. Simon and a bunch of those pricks, they searched the entire town for you, turned everything upside down.”

         “Did anyone get hurt?”

A smile spread over Rick’s face despite himself. That was Daryl. He didn’t care for the town being left in chaos or the Saviors invading their home, he was concerned about the people living there. Nothing else mattered.

         “No, everyone’s fine. I told them we didn’t know you ran and when they couldn’t find you, they left. I’m not sure they really bought it though.”

Daryl looked at him calmly for a moment, his sixth sense for Rick Grimes’ moods having alarm bells go off in the back of his mind.

“Ya didn’t come back just ta tell me that, did ya?”

         “It’s not over”, Rick answered with a pained expression on his handsome face. “You’re an orange situation, Daryl, and Simon made sure we understood that there is no statute of limitation to this. It’s a manhunt and it will never be over for as long as you live.”

The silence between them was deafening while they just looked into each other’s eyes. Then Daryl took a step back and started chewing on his thumbnail, the turning of the little wheels in his head almost palpable.   
Nervously he started pacing.

         “Lemme process this. Yer sayin’ they gonna keep on watchin’ for me till they either got me or ‘m dead?”

With a terrible stinging sensation in his eyes, Rick nodded wordlessly.

         “But …”, Daryl picked up, “I ain’t never gonna go home then, man. I ain’t gonna be able to go _anywhere._ ‘m gonna be cooped up here for the rest a’ ma days with Siegfried, Roy and their pet tiger?”

In another situation this comment would have made Rick laugh, but the lump in his throat choked him too much for laughing. Daryl hadn’t even gotten the full extent of his situation yet.

         “You’re safe here for the time being, but only as long as the Saviors don’t violate the Kingdom’s boundries.”

         “And if they do”, Daryl caught Rick’s drift, “they not only gonna punish me for runnin’, but everyone who lives here for hidin’ me. Every place I go to ‘s in danger ‘cause a’ me. I got nowhere ta go, nowhere ta hide.” 

         “We’re gonna find a way, Daryl. We’ll fight them. We’re gonna put an end to them, so you can come home.”

         “Yeah?” With an agitated expression the archer resumed his pacing. “Ya saw the few peeps at the Hilltop willin’ ta help us and the Kingdom is oblivious, that king a’ theirs ‘s as much a coward as Gregory. We ain’t got no help and alone we don’t stand no chance. We ain’t got the numbers and we ain’t got no weapons.”

         “We will.”

         “When, Rick? Could be weeks, months, even years till we got the strength ta fight ‘em. They don’t know me, got no clue that I could make it on ma own out there – they gonna check every community in the area and the lives of all a’ ‘em people ’s at stake ‘cause a’ me. I could head into the woods, but …”

He swallowed thickly.

         “I ain’t the man no more I used ta be. I ‘s always good on ma own, but … I don’t wanna be alone anymore. And it ain’t just gonna be a few days. Gonna be lookin’ over ma shoulder every damn second of the day … That ain’t no fuckin’ life, Rick.”

Unexpectedly Daryl stopped his pacing and looked Rick straight in the eyes. For a long moment they just looked at each other quietly, motionless and entirely obsorbed by the other one’s eyes.   
Very few people were able to have their souls communicate through looks alone, yet Rick and Daryl they had done just that almost since the day they first met. 

Even in the shadows of the trees and bushes around them Rick thought he saw something new light up in the archer’s blue eyes. A tinge of desperation, an urge to _do_ something he had never had the courage to do before. The next moment Daryl took a step toward his friend and gently placed his hand to the back of Rick’s neck, entwining his fingers in the leader’s curls and leaving it there for just a second. His touch was soft and warm and sent shivers down Rick’s spine – right before Daryl leaned in and placed a chaste kiss on his mouth.

He drew back instantly, took a step back with his head lowered as though he was afraid to look the other man in the eyes.   
It was dead silent between them and for a moment there neither of them even dared breathe. The longer that moment lasted, the more Daryl seemed to tense up. Rick saw his eyes flicker nervously, watching his every move without daring to meet his look as though Daryl was expecting some kind of attack, either verbal or even physical. 

         “Thought ya should know”, the archer croak out almost inaudibly, his sad and lost inflection having Rick’s sight blur instantly. 

Daryl was giving up. He was preparing himself for being caught by the Saviors eventually and he was saying good-bye, revealing his biggest secret – his love for Rick – before there may not be another chance to do so. And he expected to lose Rick’s friendship and respect any second now. Thought the man he loyally stood by all these years would start yelling or even hit him because of his _inappropriate_ feelings for him – a reaction he had probably gotten more than once when growing up. Did he really not know?

Slowly, in order not to startle him, Rick lifted his hand and got ahold of Daryl’s, relieved to not feel the archer flinch when their fingers touched. 

         “Hey”, he said gently, “look at me.”

The moment Daryl raised his head hesitatingly, he pulled him closer and kissed him tenderly in return. Not quite as chaste as the archer’s kiss before, but not too long to have the other man feel cornered. 

         “Thought you should know, too”, he just said softly. 

Daryl’s eyes widened in surprise and shock alike, while they stood in front of each other at a total loss for words.   
All these years. All the time they’ve spent together. The countless days they’d been so close, had felt drawn to each other like two magnets and yet never dared touch. All the moments they had both _known_ deep down inside, yet had never acted upon their feelings.   
The questions that hung in the air between them were almost palpable.   
_ Since when? Why have you never said anything? Does anyone else know? _

Not a single one of these questions was voiced. It wasn’t important, none of this. They knew _now_ and the here and now was all that mattered.   
Simultaneously they wrapped their arms around each other once more and pressed their foreheads together, breathing in deep. For a while they just indulged in the other one’s closeness, the warmth they felt radiate from the familiar body in their arms, the sound of soft breathing, then Daryl said almost inaudibly:

         “’m gonna go home with ya.”

Rick pulled back, a shocked expression on his face.

         “No. They’ll find you. They …”

         “They just searched the place and ain’t gonna look there again anytime soon. Least not tanight.”  
Rick saw Daryl’s eyes become suspiciously shiny.   
“I just wanna go home, Rick. I miss Li’l Asskicker and Carl and ... I couldn’t even talk to the boy after … after … He’s seen shit no kid should ever see.”

He stood in front of Rick with slumped shoulders and hung his head. He knew there was no easy solution. Maybe there was none at all.

         “Lemme go home just for tanight. So ‘s I can see everybody and say good-bye. – First thing tomorrow ‘m gonna turn maself in.” 

Rick felt as though someone had punched him in the guts and gasped.  
          
         “No!” Tears pooled in his eyes instantly. “You can’t do that.”

         “I have ta. Yer all in danger and I can’t let anythin’ happen to ya or the kids or anybody else ‘cause a’ me. Can’t take anymore death on my conscience.”

         “You don’t understand … They gonna punish you for running.”

         “I know. I saw what they did ta Dwight and Mark … “ He swallowed thickly. “Ya still gonna love me when he burns ma face?”

The dam broke without Rick being able to prevent it. Tears ran over his face while he cupped Daryl’s cheeks with both hands, before pulling him into another tight embrace. 

         “’s okay, Rick. There’s worse things he could do. And I know he will.”   
He breathed in deep.   
         “But I ain’t gonna spend ma life runnin’ and hidin’. Been doin’ that too many times and I _know_ it ain’t helpin’ matters, ‘s makin’ ‘em worse. Whatever I did as a kid, when ma ol’ man hadda search for me first and drag me outta some closet or somethin’, his fury was twice as bad. And the beatin’, too. – If I turn maself in, maybe Negan’s just gonna send me back to ma box, try ta break me some more, whatever.”

         “There’s gotta be a better way”, Rick croaked, holdling on to his friend like a drowning man to a piece of driftwood.

         “This _is_ the better way.”

         “There’s something I haven’t told you yet …”

When Negan had threatened Rick to have him chop pieces off of Daryl in case he was to plan an attack, Dwight had already locked the archer into the back of the van. Had Daryl ever even heard that threat being voiced? He had to know about it, had to know Simon had just repeated it and made clear that things would go down exactly that way and no other if the Saviors should ever get their hands on the archer.   
So he told him. 

Rick felt Daryl tense up in his arms the moment he caught on and understood what exactly was in store for him – and Rick.   
Unable to stand still a second longer the older man pulled back and started pacing again. 

         “You can’t turn yourself in, Daryl”, Rick said causiously. “It’s not gonna make a difference.”

         “It might. Like I said – if I go back freely, do the kneelin’ again, eat their damn dog food and tell him what he wants to hear, the sentence may be lighter. ‘s worth a try. Dunno what else ta do, Rick. ’m done runnin’ and hidin’. Can’t live like that.”

         “You really think he’s gonna let you off the hook?”

         “Man, I dunno, but we’ve run outta choices.”   
He stopped his pacing and turned back to Rick, looking him firmly in the eyes.  
         “Promise ya he ain’t gonna go through with his threat though. If he tries … ‘m gonna find a way ta never make it back ta Alexandria alive.”

All color seemed to simply drop off of Rick’s face and with his knees buckling he sank heavily onto the bench. Propping his elbows up on his knees, he hid his face in his hands and breathed in deep several times in order to still his frantically beating heart. 

There was only one way out of this – Negan had to be stopped. They had to defeat the Saviors as soon as only possible, but how was he to convince Daryl to just _wait_? It was a plan after all. Maybe the only chance he had at all, because _if_ they found him, there’d be no mercy. Turning himself in might buy him time – and maybe it wouldn’t. Negan was entirely unpredictable. There was no telling if turning himself in wasn’t like putting his head on a block Daryl may have been spared if he had just waited.   
It could go either way. A decision needed to be made and Rick felt like being pushed into a corner in that moment, unable to get out, helpless, powerless, torn and confused. Never before had he felt this cornered as time was clearly working against him and Daryl. 

         “We need to talk to Ezekiel again”, Rick said flatly after a moment, lifting his head.

A movement in the door to the main building caught his attention instantly and he wasn’t even surprised to see the king standing in the doorway. 

         “I’ve heard your conversation”, Ezekiel said calmly.

         “Ya been eavesdroppin’, _king_?” Daryl growled.

The leader of the Kingdom looked at him unimpressed, still mustering an incredible amount of patience and understanding.

         “I can assure you that this was not my intention. Richard came to inform me that Rick had returned and asked for an audience with the king. This is what I’m here for.”

Rick stood and approached Ezekiel with large steps.

         “Then you know what I want.”

         “The same as before – you want the Kingdom to get involved in a war that will most likely cost numerous lives.”

Daryl cast him an angry scowl. 

         “’s what wars always do. Ain’t doin’ this for the fun of it, man, but ‘cause we’re livin’ under the thumb a’ ‘em pricks ‘n’ it’s time we did somethin’ ‘bout ‘em. Ya know what they do. Walls and gates ain’t gonna stop ‘em in the long run. Think yer people still gonna respect ya when they find out ya’ve been lyin’ ta ‘em, kept this from ‘em all that time and let ‘em live like sittin’ ducks? They gonna demand ‘em dreadlocks along with the rest a’ yer head, man.”  

         “Maybe. But I told you before – as long as we’ve got a chance to preserve the peace, I cannot risk my people’s lives …”

         “This ain’t no peace! There’s only peace between equally strong parties. They just lettin’ ya live for as long as yer useful, ‘s all.”

         “There’s people dying almost every day”, Rick cut in, “despite us keeping our end of the bargain. Despite that _peace._ ”  
He swallowed thickly against a lump in his throat.  
         “And Daryl may be next”, he added in a choked voice. “It needs to stop. _We_ need to stop them. With every day we wait, every person we lose, chances shift in their favor and one day it’ll be too late. – Help us!”

For a long moment it was deadly silent in the King’s garden. Only the crackling of the fire wood was heard while the three men just stared at each other for what felt like an eternity.   
Finally Ezekiel said:

         “I will think about it.”

Daryl let out an annoyed snort.

         “Yeah, ya do that. Sit on that throne a’ yers a while longer and do yer hair, while they take me apart piece by piece. Thanks for nothing, man.” 

That said he turned around on his heels and walked away, disappeared into the green wilderness of the garden clearly headed for the gate without looking back. The conversation was most obviously over.  
He hadn’t seen Rick grow pale again and squeeze his eyes shut for a moment.

          _“While they take me apart piece by piece.”_

Daryl’s voice still echoed in his head and he felt like screaming. There was no way out. No solution. Not even a fair amount of hope. And the only person who may have been able to help them, was _thinking about it._

When Alexandria’s leader opened his eyes again and looked at the king, they were cold as glacier ice and had Ezekiel shudder for a moment. Rick pointed in the direction Daryl had just disappeared in.  
          
         “If he was one of your family, would that still be your decision?” Rick said, his words sharp as a knife.

Without waiting for an answer he turned on his heels and followed Daryl to the gate. This was a waste of time. There was no help, no refuge, no hope here. He would bring him home, the way Daryl had asked him to and then … Rick ran his hands helplessly through his curls. Then what? If only he knew. If only he had the answers. At this point though he felt lost in the darkness and there was no light at the end of the tunnel. 


	2. Don't let anything happen to them

Dusk was approaching by the time they arrived back at Alexandria.   
The moment Rick had stopped the car in front of his house, the entire group piled out onto the street and gathered around the driver’s door.   
The leader got out and raised his hand to avoid any questions he wasn’t willing to answer just yet, especially not out here on the street. There was no telling who might be watching them.

         “I’ve got a _special delivery_ in the backseat. – _Don’t_ look”, he added instantly, when he noticed several pairs of eyes darting to the rear window. “I need you to help me bring it in unseen. I’m not sure we’re not being watched.”

He whispered something into his son’s ear and with a nod the teenager opened the back door and disappeared into the dark car, admiring his father’s wits to disable the interior lighting.   
A moment later his sheriff’s hat appeared again and together the entire group headed straight into the house with only Rick and Tara strolling behind. Rick’s feet felt as though they were made of lead and deep lines of worry distorted his handsome face, which didn’t go unnoticed. 

         “Everything okay?” Tara asked Rick gently, while they walked up the steps to the front porch.

It was a stupid thing to ask, she was well aware of that. But wasn’t it better than saying nothing at all? She couldn’t even tell.   
He stopped and looked at her with an expression that was impossible to read. Then he answered wearily:

         “For tonight it will be. Hopefully.”  
          
         “He’s alive”, Tara said thoughtfully, “that’s all that matters. As long as you are alive together, life is good and anything is possible.” She sighed and pressed her lips together for a moment. “I miss Denise.”

That said she disappeared into the house as well and left a stunned Rick behind.

         “Count your blessings, Grimes”, the leader muttered to himself after a moment before he followed his family inside. 

         “If we ‘s being watched I sure hope they can’t count”, Daryl’s voice reached him from the family room, where he was taking off Carl’s hat and placed it back onto the boy’s head. “Thanks.”

The teenager just nodded with a smile.   
He was glad that Daryl was back. In all the years since the outbreak the archer had always just _been_ there, the silent backup, a reassuring constant in a world that was ever changing. And a person Carl had always been able to turn to when he had something on his chest he couldn’t talk to his dad about.   
Carl hadn’t had any idea how fond he’d grown of the archer till the moment Negan had taken him and he was just _gone._

         “Got a minute?” Daryl said to the teenager unexpectedly and derailed Carl’s train of thought.

The boy cast him a surprised look.  
          
         “Sure. What …?”

         “Not here.” 

Ignoring the surprised looks cast his way, Daryl placed one hand on Carl’s shoulder and led him out into the hallway so they could talk in private.

The moment they had left the room, Michonne turned around to Rick with a stern expression.

            “Why did you bring him back here?” 

Rick cast a look around and saw the same unspoken question in the eyes of each and every person present. He clenched his teeth for a moment before replying:

         “I didn’t _bring_ him back here. That was his decision. He’s a grown man and master of his own life, not my dog, and he wanted to come home, simple as that.”

         “That’s not what I meant”, Michonne said in a softer inflection. “I know what he is to you. We all do.” 

The words hung in the air for a moment while Rick looked at her with wide eyes. What exactly was she saying? Did they really _know_ how Daryl and he felt for each other? Did they know something new had started that night, that they had taken their friendship one step further and were making the transition from friends to lovers? Was this what she was implying or was he interpreting too much into her words just now? Not that it mattered. It was a fact – Daryl and he, they were more than just friends and Rick wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. 

         “What I meant to say”, the black woman picked up again, “was why is he back here when he was safe at the Kingdom?” 

         _“Because he’s not”,_ Rick thought with a heavy heart and a stinging sensation in his eyes. _“Tomorrow could be his last day on Earth and he means to spend it at home, with his family._ ”

 

         “Yer alright?” Daryl asked Carl as soon as they were out of earshot.

         “Sure. He didn’t hurt me, just took …”

         “Nah, ‘s not what I meant. Ya hadda see shit there I never wanted ya ta see, but there ‘s nothing I coulda done ‘bout it.”

         “I know that, Daryl. Don’t beat yourself up. I’ve killed people, I put down countless walkers and I saw that prick bash Glenn … well, saw him do _that._ I won’t have sleepless nights over someone getting their face burned, although that was gross as shit.”

Daryl looked at him calmly for a moment, before pulling in a deep breath. 

         “Hell, and I thought I had a shitty childhood”, he commented dryly, which had Carl’s lips twitch for a moment. “I know yer a tough kid. Ya hadda be and yer dad’s right ta be proud a’ ya. – I just want ya ta know … I ‘s not givin’ in back there. Never gave up. I ‘s kneelin’ and obeyin’ orders ‘cause I hadda, so ‘s I was gonna live and be able ta kick that bastard’s ass one day.”

Carl cocked his head and his eye widened when he understood what Daryl was really aiming at. The cruelty the boy had to witness wasn’t the archer’s concern. He knew this was something people had to live with these days, including their children, whether they liked it or not.   
What was really bothering Daryl was the fact that Carl saw him kneel to Negan, saw him being taunted and humiliated without doing anything about it, and that apparently shamed him to the core. 

         “I know”, the teenager replied. 

         “Just wanted ya ta understand – there’s a time for kneelin’ and keepin’ yer mouth shut, and then there’s a time ta fight back and make ‘em pay for bringin’ ya to yer knees. Just make sure ya know the difference.” 

Carl gave him a thoughtful nod, while he was looking at Daryl in awe. He didn’t speak much, but when he did it usually was substantial, and sometimes it had way more depth than anyone would have expected of the grumpy archer. 

         “I’ll keep that in mind”, Carl said after a moment. Then he added with a smile:  
“I was glad you were there. Made me feel safe. Always does when you’re around.”

         “Yeah? I couldn’t ‘a done shit.”

         “Good thing we didn’t have to find out. Good for Negan”, Carl said with an admiring sparkle in his eye that had Daryl’s heart skip a beat.

When the archer wasn’t going to say anything else, Carl turned around to head back over into the family room. 

         “’m proud a’ ya, too, kid”, Daryl said behind his back, his voice barely audible as though he wasn’t sure he had the right to say something like that to Carl. 

The teenager cast a glance over his shoulder and smiled.

         “Dito.”

 

         “He’s gonna do _what_?”

Rick sighed deeply.   
He would have liked to keep Daryl’s plan to turn himself in a secret, simply because this reaction was exactly what he had expected.   
They didn’t understand and they didn’t appreciate it and he would have to explain something he couldn’t comprehend to its full extent himself, had to speak in favor of a plan he despised, had to help them accept a decision he couldn’t accept himself.

This reasoning, discussing, arguing wasn’t helping the matter and wasn’t going to change a thing. All it did was waste time. The last precious hours he may ever have with Daryl. What Rick really wanted to do was tell his family to shut up, get lost, leave him alone with Daryl, so they would have some privacy, could share a few tender moments in peace and quiet and say their good-byes.   
Rick didn’t believe in happy endings anymore. They didn’t work for him. And they never worked for Daryl, either.   
But their family, they had to know. They had _a right_ to know. So here they were – discussing, arguing, wasting time. 

         “He thinks it’s the only way and maybe he’s right.”

         “What do you think?”

Rick cast Rosita a stern glance.

         “Doesn’t matter. It’s _his_ life we’re talking about here, so it’s his call. Simple as that.”

He saw the _“Since when?”_ question in their eyes, but not one of his people dared say it out loud.   
This sure was a thing unheard of. Leaving Daryl at the Kingdom only hours ago, hadn’t that been Rick deciding in Daryl’s stead, about Daryl’s life as well? Hadn’t he _always_? For as long as Rick had been the leader of this group, Daryl had lived by his No. 1 rule – _Whatever he says, goes._ No exceptions. The archer may have spoken his mind, may have told Rick if he disapproved of his decision, the way he had done only this afternoon, but in the end he had always respected Rick’s leadership. 

Something had changed. For years now the two men appeared to be content with their positions – Rick being the one to lead with Daryl just that one step behind his shoulder, but the winds of change was almost palpable. Maybe Rick had grown tired of leading, because it was lonely at the top. And he wasn’t the type to follow. Maybe what he had really needed and craved for was someone right there by his side, as an equal, and sometime today Daryl seemed to have filled that position. Finally. 

         “Look”, Rick said with a sigh, tiredly pinching the bridge of his nose. “I don’t like it, either, but it may be the only way. He’s right – the alternative is for him to run and hide for the rest of his days and the longer he’s being a problem to Negan, the more furious that bastard is gonna get. Use your imagination what that means.”

He saw the shocked expressions on the other faces and his hands balled to fists.

         “The only way to prevent this is for us to fight the Saviors and at this point we don’t have the numbers or weapons. If anyone has a better idea, a way out of this, let’s hear it!”  
His shoulders slumped.  
         “I don’t have the answers anymore.”

There were tears in his voice and he tried to swallowed them down. This was hardly the time to break down in front of everybody – again. If they had ever needed a strong leader, it was now. And he wasn’t going to let Daryl see his tears. This must have been way harder on the archer and yet Daryl stood his ground, as always. He had always been the stronger one of them, there was no doubt on Rick’s mind about that. 

         “Whadda you want us to do?” Tara said softly, hoping against hope that there was _anything_ at all they were able to do.

         “Go to bed”, Rick said softly. “Get some rest. We all need it. In the morning we’ll do some brainstorming and maybe then we’ll come up with a better solution.” 

There wasn’t the slightest tinge of hope in his voice. He didn’t believe in miracles anymore.   
He saw unspoken objections in the faces around him, resistance, protest, the urge to _do_ something, but in the end they all gave in. There _was_ nothing they could do and they knew it. 

One by one wordlessly left the room. To wish a ‘good night’ would have been ironic, so they refrained from it and just gave Rick and Daryl the space and time they needed. That at least was something they _could_ do.

When they were alone the two men stood silently in front of each other, waiting for the other to make the next move. When the seconds ticked away and spread into minutes, Daryl said:

         “I ain’t good at this.”

         “What?”

         “Relationships. Never … ya know, never really had one, so I dunno what I’m doin' here.”

A smile tugged at the corners of Rick’s mouth despite himself.

         “Welcome to the club. Only relationship I ever had was with Lori and it wasn’t her death that ended it.”

         “Nah, that was Shane havin’ his dick in the wrong places”, Daryl slipped. He actually blushed instantly.  
“Sorry, man, shouldn’t a’ said that.”

Rick waved the comment off.

         “Forget it. It’s not important anymore, but you’re wrong, you know. Shane and Lori … that was just the effect. The cause … that was probably me messing up long before the apocalypse. That marriage had been doomed for a long time.”

He fell silent with a thoughtful air on his face, before suddenly snapping back into the here and now and casting Daryl an affectionate smile.

         “Like they say – better luck next time, huh?”

         “Yeah, helluva timin’ there, man.” Before Rick could reply to that, he added:  
“Lemme see Li’l Asskicker, please. I know she’s sleepin’, but …”

         “You don’t need my permission, Daryl.”

         “She’s yer li’l girl.”

         “She was _your_ little girl long before she was mine, you know that.”

 

Together they climbed the stairs up to the second floor and a moment later they quietly entered the nursery. A small night light in the shape of a smiling sun illuminated the room enough to make out the sleeping toddler in her crib.   
Judith’s curls were an unruly mess and she had her little thumb tucked into her mouth while she slept peacefully. The window stood slighly ajar and the air that flooded in through the gap was warm and soft, brushing over bare skin like a caress. The little girl had kicked the covers back and looked downright adorable with her rosey cheeks, her short chubby legs and the diapers she was still wearing at nights. 

         “She’s gonna be a beauty when she’s older. Ya best make sure ta keep an eye on that girl”, Daryl said softly. 

         “That’s your job”, Rick replied just as softly. “I already feel sorry for any poor fool who’ll dare court our daughter.” 

The way Rick said ‘ _our_ daughter’ did not go unnoticed and had Daryl’s heart skip a beat, but he chose to leave it uncommented. A Dixon being part of any sappy scene was a thing unheard of and he didn’t even dare think further than the following day. It was the wrong time to get his hopes up on a future together with Rick and the children. A future _at all._  
When he had said Negan might lighten the sentence and just send him back to his box or burn his face, that story had been to soothe Rick, no more, no less. He didn’t believe for one second that he’d survive the Saviors. The moment he had run his life was forfeit, no doubt about it, but turning himself in may spare Rick from being a part in his death and that was the only wish Daryl still had at this point.  

          “ _Court_ ma Li’l Asskicker, huh?  That reminds me – I need ma crossbow back, man.”

The remark brought a smirk to Rick’s face and wordlessly he pressed a kiss to the side of Daryl’s head, before the smile vanished and made room for new lines of worry. Quickly he walked over to the window and looked out into the night with an idle glance, so Daryl wouldn’t see the tears that were pooling in his eyes once again.   
He hadn’t been crying as much in all his life as he had ever since Negan appeared on the scene and he was growing tired of it. So incredibly tired. Just once, for one single day he wanted a reason to laugh, a moment of happiness, peace of mind, no fears, no worries …

         _“Could just as well wish for the moon”,_ he thought sarcastically. 

Behind him Daryl stood motionless in front of Judith’s crib and looked at the sleeping toddler before he reached out a hand and gently ran it over her soft curls. 

         “She’s yer daughter, Rick”, he whispered in order not to wake the little girl. “She’s got ‘em curls and the blue eyes, yer smile … Just hope ya didn’t pass ‘em bowlegs on ta the poor girl.”

Rick still stood unmoving at the window and resumed his observation of the night sky, but a smile tugged at his lips on that remark.

         “No way in hell she’s a Walsh. And Carl … he’s even cocking his head the way ya does. They’re great kids.”

         “I know.” 

A soft whiny sound behind him had Rick turn around and his heart picked up its pace instantly when he saw Daryl standing with the sleeping Judith on his arm. She had come to the cusp of waking shortly when he had picked her up, but the way his hand ran soothing circles over her back had her settle back down and with her head on his shoulder resume her slumber.   
Daryl leaned his cheek against the soft curls and gently rocked the child on his arm, before he cast a look over to his friend.

         “Don’t let anything happen to ‘em”, he whispered, before closing his eyes and breathing in deep, fighting for his composure. 

The next moment he felt two arm reach around him and Judith and pull them close. Rick leaned his head against Daryl’s from the other side, while his hand joined the archer’s on the girl’s back.

         “Don’t say good-bye, Daryl”, Rick whispered back. “It’s not over yet. We’ve made it this far …”

         “Not all of us.”

         “ _We_ did, you and I.”

         “Ya gettin’ sappy on me here, Grimes?” Daryl teased to lighten the mood and the ghost of a smile flashed over the younger man’s face.

         “I just might.” 

         “And yer surprised I’d rather turn maself in?”

Rick was in between laughing and crying, shaking his head to himself.

         “Idiot.”

         “Much better”, Daryl replied with a nudge to Rick’s head. 

They stood like that for another moment, than Rick said softly:

         “We should get some rest, too.”

         “Waste a’ time”, Daryl said flatly and Rick knew exactly what he meant. 

He much rather liked to spend the rest of the night standing here like this with Daryl and Judith in his arms, but his eyelids were growing heavy and he felt physically and mentally exhausted. 

         “I know, but ... Let’s just lay down for a while then.” 

Daryl didn’t make a move. He placed a soft kiss on Judith’s chubby cheek instead and Rick understood.

         “Bring her along. She can sleep just as well in our bed.”

Again the word ‘ _our’_ didn’t go unnoticed, but was left uncommented, although it warmed Daryl’s heart that Rick was thinking in terms of _‘we’_ already. After all, they had only just taken that one small step further and would probably never go beyond that. One kiss didn’t make a relationship. Well, okay, two. Three? It didn’t matter. A lack of devotion wasn’t their problem – the lack of time was.   


	3. Perfect in every way

While Rick closed the bedroom door behind them, Daryl gently placed Judith on one side of the bed and covered her with a light blanket. She didn’t even wake this time and resumed her sleep without so much as moving. 

When the archer turned around, Rick was standing right behind him. He didn’t say a word, didn’t move, just locked eyes with his friend and for a moment they appeared to be frozen in time like that.   
How could a situation be both confusing and crystal clear at the same time? How was it possible to know exactly what the next move should be, what they _wanted_ the next move to be and yet have a pile of unnerving insecurities stand between them?   
Was it because what they had started was meant to go beyond this one night, while maybe this one night was all they had left? Was it because their future was veiled to such an extent that it was uncertain there even _was_ a future? Or did neither one mean to create more memories than they’d be able to bear if it all ended way too soon?

Rick breathed in deep after a moment that felt like an eternity and in a helpless gesture dipped his head and touched it gently to Daryl’s.    
There was so much he wanted to say, but words failed him. There was so much in his heart he wanted to let show, but didn’t know how. 

         “Yeah, me too”, Daryl whispered to him as though he had heard Rick’s thoughts, and maybe he had. 

Without another word Daryl’s arms snaked around the younger man’s waist and pulled him close, while Rick responded in like ways. Fingers started to caress, hands to roam, lips to explore. The world seemed to hold its breath and time was flowing in slow motion, seconds stretching into minutes, minutes becoming hours.   
The moon continued on its celestrial path and sent its silvery light through the bedroom window where the two men were making the transition from friends to lovers. They felt, tasted, smelled and were closer to each other than ever before, got to know one other in entirely new ways, both body and soul.   
Every touch was a caress, every move slow, gentle and tender. They became one with every fibre of their being, their breaths like a warm summer breeze on the other one’s bare skin and their hearts beating in sync.   
They were quiet, focussed on each other, lost in the other one’s eyes – there was no tomorrow, no threat, nothing that could possibly ever tear them apart. 

When the moon made room for the first shy sunrays of a young morning, the world had changed. _Their_ world had changed. 

Judith was still peacefully asleep and hadn’t woken once while Rick and Daryl’s bodies had come together in slow, gentle movements, accompanied by feather-light gasps and soft moans that had almost been a lulluby rather than a disturing sound to the little girl.   
They had held each other crushingly tight after they had both come almost at the same time and when Daryl had finally let go and had turned away from him, Rick was sure there’d been tears in the archer’s eyes.   
Daryl had wrapped one arm protectively around the little girl by his side, while Rick had spooned up behind him and for his part draped one arm over his partner.   
For a while longer they had indulged in the warmth of the familiar body close by and the wonderful sated and content feeling of the aftermath, then Daryl’s breathing had become deep and even as he had drifted off to sleep. 

 

Rick looked out of the window into the clear blue sky of a young Virgina morning that showed hues of orange, red and yellow as the sun slowly rose higher.   
His eyes were burning and tearing from fatigue and his eyelids dropped close time and again, but he forced them back open, fought to stay awake with all his might.   
He didn’t want to miss a single second of the time he still had with Daryl, however pessimistic that way of thinking may have been. He was preparing himself for the worst, for how could any of their options lead to a good ending? Daryl could hide and run till they found him. He could turn himself in or take matters into his own hands and end his own life, so the way and time of his death would at least be his own choice. Either way, the outcome was the same and there was no door No. 4. The only thing that could save this man was the war, however ironic this may have sounded. A war to save a life. But that option didn’t appear to be in reach any time soon and thus time was running out for him, for _them._

Pressing his lips tightly together in order to hold back his tears, Rick buried his nose in the archer’s long dark strands of hair and subconsciously pulled him closer, indulging in the feeling of Daryl’s surprisingly soft skin pressed against his own and his heart beating strongly underneath his palm. 

This should probably have felt _odd_ in any way, but Rick didn’t even give it a second thought that it did not. He had always considered himself to be straight, so it should have surprised him that he had never felt more content and whole than now that he was holding another man in his arms. But his grandfather had told him once:

         _“If something_ feels _perfect in every possible way, it_ is _. So don’t question it, even though other people might.”_

His grandfather who had fought against the Germans in World War II. He had been a gentle and very wise man and in many ways Hershel Greene had reminded Rick of him. Maybe that had been one of the reasons why he had respected and cared for the old man so much. His death still pained him to this very day.  
His grandpa had helped him fight a lot of minor, personal wars when he grew up and for a moment Rick wondered what advice he would give him now, what he would say if he saw him in love with his best friend. Deep down inside Rick was sure the old man would be smiling. 

         “I love you”, Rick whispered to the sleeping man by his side, swallowing against the raspy sensation in the back of his throat. 

He would have liked to stop time and stay in the moment, _this_ moment, till there was a solution. Or for the rest of his days, if necessary, but the sound of quickly approaching footsteps on the stairs indictated its end any second now.  
Just when he meant to gently wake Daryl, the door was forcefully pushed open as Carl barged into the room. 

         “Dad!”

Rick suppressed a sigh and clenched his teeth when he felt Daryl flinch and being startled out of his sleep, the sudden movement as well as the noise bringing Judith around as well and making her whine.

The teenage boy froze in the doorway and his eye widened in surprise when he took the scenario in. The way his father and Daryl lay close to each other, apparently in their birthday suits, left little to the imagination and had Carl gasp.   
This wasn’t his business and he didn’t mind at all, he was just taken aback. His dad hadn’t appeared to be too keen on finding someone new to share his life and if he had, Carl would have expected, well, a woman. Maybe Michonne. Her and Rick had been friends for a long time, close friends, and they most obviously liked each other a lot, but apparently she wasn’t what his dad had been looking for, wasn’t what he _needed._  
Everybody knew he and Daryl had been incredibly close for the longest time, were kindred souls and a blind man would have been able to see the chemistry between them, so if the archer was the one to fill the gap in his father’s life, who was he to judge? Whatever, _whoever_ made Rick happy was fine with him. 

         “Dad”, Carl repeated, ignoring the awkward situation, “the sentry just announced several approaching vehicles. Looks like Saviors.”

Rick’s heart almost stopped and Daryl next to him sat up fast the same moment, staring at the boy with wide eyes.

         “Shit”, he muttered to himself.

Quickly approaching feet on the stairs announced another early morning visitor and a second later Michonne appeared in the doorway. Like Carl before she froze and her eyebrows rose to her hairline for a moment – then unexpectedly a smile flashed over her face before it was replaced by her usual dark expression. 

         “Bad news, Rick. It _is_ the Saviors – and Negan is with them.” 

         “Carl, take Judith!” Rick said with a frantically beating heart. “And, _please,_ stay in the house.”

         “But …”

         “You heard your dad”, Michonne cut in with a stern inflection. “If they find Daryl all hell may break loose and you need to take care of Judith.”  
She looked at the boy urgingly.  
         “Hide some place. Make sure to stay out of sight.”

While she was talking to the boy, Rick and Daryl had wordlessly swung their legs out of bed and were getting dressed as quickly as only possible.

         “But I …”

         “Carl.” Daryl’s deep voice was surprisingly calm. Whether he really was or just pretended to be was impossible to read in his usual deadpan.  
         “I know ya heard Negan’s threat, and Simon’s. Ya _know_ what ‘em pricks may be doin’ and … I don’t want ya ta see that. Want ya and Judy ta be safe.” 

He saw the teenager as well as Michonne swallow thickly and with a relenting nod Carl walked over to the bed and picked his whining baby sister up. He rocked her gently while he just stood there for a moment, looking Daryl in the eyes and desperately searched for the right words to say. To no avail.   
In the end it was Daryl returning the nod with the ghost of a smile flashing over his face.

         “Glad yer as good with words as I ‘s always been.” 

         “They’re through the gate!” Rosita yelled into the house from the front porch. “Where’s Rick?”

         “Go!” Daryl urged Carl and visibly struggling to comply the teenager turned on his heels a moment later and hurried out of the room with Judith on his arms.

         “Go with him”, Rick prompted Michonne who was still standing in the doorway. “Make sure he stays in the house. Find a safe place for them. I’ll be right down.”

         “You got it.” She was about to turn on her heels when she reconsidered and took a few quick steps over to where Daryl was standing.

Wordlessly she cupped his face the way she had done the previous day at the Hilltop and placed a feathery kiss on his cheek, then she turned and followed Carl down the stairs. 

         “Looks like no one‘s believin’ in happy endings here no more”, Daryl commented dryly.

         “You gotta hide. We need to find a place.” Rick’s voice was panicky and he was frantically looking around himself as though a closet or the space underneath the bed was the solution.

The next moment Daryl stood right in front of him and stopped him by placing his hands to either side of the younger man’s face. They looked each other in the eyes, their souls communicating once again, before Daryl leaned in and kissed Rick tenderly.

         “I ain’t gonna hide”, he whispered to his partner when he pulled back. “Ain’t no use. They’d find me anyway and ‘s like I said, if we make it harder on that prick, he’s gonna make it harder on us.”

         “Wait”, Rick urged the archer. “Just wait till we know what they want. Maybe they’re just here for another delivery.”

         “Maybe. That’d save me today, but what ‘bout tomorrow? ‘s only gonna postpone the inevitable.”

         “You don’t know that!” Rick’s agitation had him speak louder than he had intented. “We don’t have the numbers and the firepower today, but tomorrow’s another day. There’s still a chance. – I can’t lose you!”

Tears had flooded his eyes despite his best attempt to swallow them down. 

         “I can’t lose you”, he repeated much softer. “If it’s only one more day … one more night – I want us to have that time together. _Please_!” 

Daryl looked at him silently, while the little wheels in his head were turning. Another day. Another night. Just one more minute with Rick. Any amount of time they might still be granted, wasn’t that totally worth waiting, maybe even hiding?

Before he had made up his mind the front door was pushed open so violently that it crashed into the wall with a loud thud, immediately followed by the trampling of several heavy booted feet. From the sound of it, it was at least six people who just barged in, of which three were headed upstairs and would be here any second. Too late. Fate had made the decision for them and she was being a bitch, as usual.

         “No”, Rick gasped, staring in Daryl’s eyes with plain shock. 

Right before Davey and two of his men appeared in the doorway, Daryl pecked the other man’s lips one last time.

         “Luv ya, too”, he whispered to him.

Then there were strong and merciless hands on him, grabbing him in an iron grasp and dragging him out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Buckle up for tomorrow's chapter. Negan and Lucille come to call .... O--O


	4. I ain't sorry for nothing

As soon as they were out on the street, Daryl expected them to bring him to his knees and hold him in place until Negan had made his way here from the front gate. Instead though they seemed to enjoy dragging him along all the way down the street and past the pond to the gate under the eyes of practically everyone living in Alexandria.   
He was well aware of his family walking right behind, while the Alexandrians lined the street as though this was some kind of parade. It sure was the most humiliating thing Daryl had ever gone through and this was exactly what he had _not_ wanted, why he would have preferred to turn himself in.   
Whatever Negan had done to him at the Sanctuary, nobody knew about it and nobody ever would. They could strip him of both his clothes and dignity all they wanted as long as his family, Rick first of all, didn’t have to watch. But they did now. 

Davey and the Saviors that accompanied him visibly enjoyed their new task. Simply harassing people, turning towns upside down, senselessly destroying things and once in a while shooting a poor misfortunate soul for no reason whatsoever apparently was getting boring. Daryl just now was their new toy.   
Every other step they had him stumble by tripping him up or shoving him unexpectedly, laughing the few times he actually fell onto his knees.   
The first time Rick had tried to step in and have them stop, but guns being pointed at random members of his group as well as people by the roadside had him lay low in the end. His jaw muscles hurt from clenching his teeth violently and he shook with agitation and anger alike, but there was nothing he could have done.   
When they drew nearer to the gate he walked past Daryl and his tormentors and approached Negan with large strides.   
The leader of the Saviors looked at him with an icy glare while Rick desperately tried to come up with a plan. There was no sign of the usual sneer on Negan’s face or his gloating laughter. He was furious. He was fuming. And this wouldn’t end well.  
Before Rick could even so much as open his mouth to try negociating with the man, a violent slap across the face had him gasp and shake his head against the dancing stars in front of his eyes. His cheek was burning and for a moment he was too stunned to even react.

He was grapped by the collar unexpectedly and yanked forward, finding himself face to face with Negan a second later.

         “You lied, Rick.”

         “No”, the leader of Alexandria tried to defend himself, “he came back last night. Simon had the town searched yesterday and he wasn’t here. You know he wasn’t.”

         “Doesn’t make a difference. Whether you knew or not where he’s been or if he was here or not yesterday, it – does – not – make – a – difference. He’s mine!”

         “He’s nobody’s”, Rick slipped, not even regretting the reply. 

Negan shoved him back and started grinning with a dangerous glow in his eyes. 

         “Rick, Rick, Rick”, he said, while he started his usual pacing, carrying Lucille on his shoulder. “After all this time, after all the lessons I’ve already taught you, you _still_ did not get it, did you?”

He had Lucille swing around in a wide sweaping gesture.

         “ _Everything_ is mine. And everyone. This entirely adorable little hicksville is mine. Every damn pott and pan in it is mine.”   
He randomly pointed at Tara who stood a few feet away.   
“She is mine. Your kids are mine. _You_ are mine and sure as hell Daryl is mine, too.”   
The next moment Lucille was pointed in Rick’s face.  
         “Do you get that now?” Negan growled, his smile gone. 

Swallowing thickly, Rick nodded wordlessly only to get another hard slap to his face a second later.

         “I told you to _speak_ when you are spoken to!” 

         “I get it”, Rick said, his voice weaker than he would have liked it to be. 

         “I was gonna turn maself in today”, Daryl’s voice behind him had Rick freeze and squeeze his eyes shut for a moment. 

Another sneer spread over Negan’s face when he left Rick standing and approached Daryl.

         “Were you? Missed me, didn’t you? And your cosy little cell. I get that, but …”

He rammed the front of Lucille into Daryl’s stomach and watched with narrowing eyes as the archer doubled over with a pained grunt. 

         “… there is no going back. Not for you. Damn, I had plans for you. I was gonna make you one of my generals and, hell, you had potential. You could have lived like a king, you stupid …”  
He cast Daryl a killer scowl, annoyed by the other man’s blank expression that he could not read.  
         “And despite all I did for you, you rather caused a fucking orange situation and had me search the entire fucking county for you. And only yesterday your buddy Rick over there swore by his graying beard that he did not know where you were. And now where the hell do I find my property today?”

He frowned for a second.

         “Where _did_ you find him?” he addressed Davey. 

         “That dude’s bedroom”, Davey replied, pointing in Rick’s direction.

Negan’s head whipped around. 

         “You have got to be kidding me. When I explained the importance of a right-hand man to you, Rick, I was preaching to the damn choir, huh? Hell, that gives the term ‘right-hand man’ a whole new meaning, doesn’t it?”   
Several of his men joined into his gloating laughter.  
         “So you and Daryl, Rick, you two are bumping uglies?”

He bent backwards like a grass stalk in the wind the way he always did, apparently being under the false impression that this would look cool, and grinned into the surprised faces around him.  
Most obviously he had just dropped a bombshell and he indulged in the awkwardness this had caused for the two people in question. To his utter dismay they didn’t look half as embarrassed as he would have liked them to be.  
Rick locked eyes with Daryl and there was even the ghost of a smile on his lips, while Daryl straightened up instead of shrinking into himself or dipping his head the way Negan had expected and looked at the Savior defiantly.  
          
         “I get why yer envious. Pity yer own right-hand man’s butt ugly.”

That remark earned him another punch in the guts while Simon glared at him furiously, but Negan’s laughter stopped him from delivering more punches.

         “Cut it out, Simon. He’s got a point. – Damn, I still like that guy. He not only got guts, he’s making me laugh, too.”

In the next second his smile simply dropped off his face, the mood swings and his unpredictability unnerving everyone around.

         “Damn shame there ain’t gonna be a deal like I had with Dwighty-Boy. Only way he was able to save his sorry ass after being an orange situation was letting me marry his pretty little wife.”  
He cast Rick a glance and wrinkled his nose.  
         “Sorry, Daryl, but your better half’s not my type.” 

         “No accountin’ for taste”, Daryl grumbled. 

He knew this was likely to earn him another punch or kick, but he didn’t even care. He had nothing to lose that wasn’t lost already. There was no getting out of this and he knew it, but he wouldn’t go down without defiance. 

         “You are a jokester here today, aren’t you? Apparently something gives you the impression that you are not in damn serious shit here. Just like everybody else for that matter!” he yelled.

         “Leave ‘em out of this.”

Daryl cast the leader of the Saviors a scowl and the next moment Negan came threateningly close to him and hissed in his face:

         “Or what? You know, you keep challenging me, keep making untenable threats and you think you’re getting away with it, just because I like you. – Fat chance, Daryl! You’re dead already, you just haven’t stopped moving yet, but the more you’re pissing me off, the more people are gonna be wasted along with you. Simple as that.”

         “Negan!”

Laura as well as five of the Saviors came walking towards them, pushing Carl forward with a rifle barrel to his back. Michonne walked next to him with the darkest scowl imaginable, rocking little Judith and holding her close to her shoulder. 

         “No”, Rick gasped. “Please, she’s just a baby. 

         “And an adorable thing she is”, Negan replied. “You wouldn’t want to shut her out from this nice little family get-together, would you?” 

He turned around and pushed Lucille into Tara’s hands.

         “Here, hold this for a moment.” 

Totally ignoring the young woman’s shocked and disgusted expression, he walked over to Michonne and wordlessly lifted Judith off her arm. For a moment the black woman tried to hold on to the toddler, but she saw the unspoken threat in the Savior’s eyes and realized that the more they resisted, the worse things would get for all of them. So she let go.   
Darly’s eyes were burning with fury and frustration when Negan came to stand in front of him, _his_ Li’l Asskicker on his arm and grinning at him.

         “If ya …”

         “Ah-ah-ah, what did I tell you about untenable threats and challenging me? Broken fingers are such a nasty thing for a kid.”

         “She’s three years old”, Daryl shot back despite the warning.

         “I wasn’t talking about _her_ ”, Negan replied with a side glance to Carl, and noticed with a satisfied grin how Daryl pressed his lips together instantly.

The archer hadn’t really believed that Negan would stoop so low as to hurt a three-year-old child, but he would hurt Carl if he was pushed further, there was no doubt on his mind. 

Why didn’t he just get it over with? This was about him, no one else.   
What kind of life, what kind of fate, what experiences and influences had turned a human being into the devil himself? Negan was visibly enjoying this charade – frightening, harassing and humiliating people before eventually killing them. He was like a cat playing with a mouse just for the fun of it, before finally ending their miserable life.   
There used to be doctors for that kind of shit, but Daryl knew better than to say that out loud. 

Still grinning Negan walked over to Rick, bouncing Judith on his arm and sneering about the panic he saw in the other man’s eyes, the urge to save his daughter and yet being entirely powerless.

         “Is this your daddy, sweetheart?” Negan cooed when he stood in front of Rick. “And that over there”, he asked, pointing at Daryl, “is that your mommy? Or is it the other way round?” 

Several of the Saviors around them started to laugh and breathing in deep Rick closed his eyes for a moment.   
God, what had he done? He should have left Daryl at the Kingdom. He’d been safe there, at least for the time being. He should never have allowed him to come back here, shouldn’t have started what they had last night. For Daryl’s sake.   
He not only put his friend’s life at danger, but exposed him to this humiliation. For an introverted and vulnerable soul like Daryl this must have been pure torture.   
When Rick dared cast the archer a look he gasped in surprise. Bright blue eyes were turned his way, not in the least lowered in shame as he would have expected. Daryl blinked once and his expression was an open book to Rick.

         _“Screw him. I ain’t sorry for nothin’.”_

         “Alright then”, Negan hollered in that moment, his loud voice making Judith whimper, “leisure time is over, let’s get down to business.”

He walked over to Tara and pointed at Lucille.

         “Bat for a baby, missy.”

Without waiting for her to react, he pushed the whining toddler into her arms and took his weapon out of her hand instead. 

         “Don’t look so sour, sweetheart”, he said to the young woman. “I know it’s a shitty trade – Lucille’s not nearly as whiny and smells so much better. Get the little stinker out of here already. Ain’t no place for a baby. – What’s the matter with you people?” 

With a sigh of relief Tara pressed a kiss on Judith’s soft curls and then hurried to leave and take the little girl to safety, if a thing like safety even existed in this place.   
On passing Daryl she slowed down and locked eyes with the archer for a moment, a pained expression on her face. 

She liked him. A lot. He was special and he was one of the few people who had seen how wonderful a person Denise Cloyd had been. Rosita had told her that it was Daryl who had buried her girlfriend, Daryl who felt responsible for her death and had gone out on a vendetta after her murderer, Daryl who apparently had taken quite a shine to the chubby woman and vice versa and still mourned her death.   
And she hadn’t even had the chance to speak to him yet, to thank him for being a friend to the woman she loved. And now there may never be another chance.   
She was glad for the hug they had shared the previous day, but it wasn’t nearly enough. Did he know how much he meant?

         _“Thank you”,_ she mouthed to him silently, hoping he’d understand for what, before hurrying along with tears in her eyes. 

Negan stood next to Rick and waved to Davey.

         “C’mon over here, Daryl, don’t be shy. You’re the special guest of this occasion after all.”

With a violently pounding heart Rick watched as Davey gave Daryl another rough shove and the archer came stumbling towards them, not once looking any other way than straight into his partner’s eyes. 

Negan noticed the exchange and with an angry frown stepped in between of them, turning to Rick.

         “Same rule, asshole. You don’t look at him, you don’t talk to him and the only way you’re ever gonna touch him again is with that hatchet of yours. Understood?”

         “No, please …”

         “Shut up! I appreciate you speaking when spoken to. At least that rule finally settled, _but_ if you ever talk back to me again and waste my precious time, this lecture is not gonna end with Daryl!” 

The head of the Saviors turned around to the archer.

         “You have no idea how disappointed I was when I found you gone.”

         “Food sucks in yer place.”

         “Oh, I get it. And when you heard that I cooked up a storm here, you thought you’d just drop by for some of my spaghetti, right?”

He suddenly grapped Daryl by the neck and pushed him down onto the ground.

         “Guess what, all you’re still gonna bite is the dust, asshole.”

Rick swallowed thickly, frantically trying to come up with a way out of this.

         “Please …”  
          
         “No!” Negan’s reply was sharp as a gunshot. “You were warned! I _told_ you and correct me if I’m wrong, but I do think I’m talking loud and clear and in commonly used American English, so no excuses! I said if you were to try anything, I’d chop pieces off of Daryl or better yet, have _you_ do it for me.”

He turned to the archer with furiously glowing eyes.

          “Same goes for causing a fucking orange situation. I had a bunch of my men out there day and night looking for you and that is one hell of a hassle. I gave you shelter, I gave you food, I showed you my home and taught you our rules, but you ran – twice – and spit on my hospitality. And you think for that you’ll get off with a light sentence? You think I’m just gonna give you a slap up the side of your head and that’s it? – No, back to square one, remember?”

         “I’m the leader”, Rick desperately tried again. “This town and its people – they are my responsibility. Take me instead to …”  
          
         “No!” Daryl struggled against the hand that held him down. “No way, man, never. ‘s on me and yer right, ya got people ta think of. Judy and Carl first of all. Ya can’t … “

         “Quiet!!”

With a nod of his head Negan had Davey kicked Daryl in the ribs with the tip of his boot and with a pained grunt the archer fell quiet. 

         “Don’t …” Rick started to protest, but several guns around him being raised and pointed at people’s heads – including Carl’s – had him fall quiet.

         “You will _not_ speak when you’re _not_ spoken to, either. You hear me? Save your breath, because nothing you can say or do is gonna prevent this lesson from being taught. You know what happens to a dog that bites its master? It gets put down, simple as that.”

         “I ain’t no dog, ya bastard”, Daryl growled at him. 

         “Yes, you are!” Negan shot back while he yanked Daryl’s head back by his hair. “And I can do with you whatever I goddamn please. You coulda gone far – now you’re just gonna go to hell. And your loverboy here is gonna send you there.”

         “No.” Rick’s sight had gotten blurry and he was helplessly shaking his head.

         “How did I know you were gonna say that?”

He stood and walked over to Carl in few long steps, grabbing him by the neck and dragging him over to Rick and Daryl. 

         “Arat! Point your gun to the boy’s head.” He turned back to Rick while Arat complied and held Carl at gunpoint. 

         “Do we have an _agreement_ now? You know Arat is not a very patient person.”

Rick swallowed against the lump in his throat and nodded, quickly adding a barely audibly “Yes” when he saw new anger light up in Negan’s eyes. 

         “Good boy, Rick”, the Savior sneered once again and patted Rick’s cheek, when he noticed Daryl about to push himself up.

With a heavy boot in the archer’s back he pushed him back down.

         “Stay!” he ordered. “Don’t even bother trying to get up. You not gonna make it back onto your feet anyway.”  
He paused and seemed to be deep in thought for a moment. Then he said:  
         “You know, I did not like you killing Fat Joey. But then, maybe I need to thank you the same way Rick here hadda thank me the other day when Arat killed that fat girl. After all, Joey’s mouth did some major damage as well. So maybe you even did me a favor.”

His grin widened.

         “And because I appreciate people doing me a favor, I’m inclined to give you one more chance.”

He pointed to Davey who was standing nearby and asked:

         “Who are you?”

         “Negan”, came the immediate reply.

After he had repeated the procedure with two more of his men, he turned to the archer. 

         “Now, again – who are you?”

This time, after a short hesitation, Daryl said:

         “Negan.”

No more pride. No more defiance. No more resistance. It wasn’t the time for any of this anymore. There were lives at stake here – not just his, but most importantly those of his family. If he had to die here and now there was little he was able to do about it, but if there was anything, _anything_ he could do to spare Rick from having to be the one to end his life, than he’d do it.

With a derisive laughter Negan started walking up and down with his usual swagger. 

         “Whadda you know. All of a sudden it was that easy, wasn’t it?”

He stopped in front of the archer and hovered over him like a vulture.

         “But you know what, Daryl, I think you’re lying. You’re telling me whatever you think I wanna hear to save your sorry, miserable life.”

         “Nah, ya know shit, man.”

         “Is that so? Well, I do know one thing …”

Shockingly fast he raised Lucille and had it come crashing down on Daryl’s left hand, breaking each bone into numerous pieces and the barbed wire cutting deep wounds into the archer’s flesh.   
Daryl’s scream was gut-wrenching, while Negan growled:

         “ …I hate being lied to.” 

There were several suppressed screams and sobs around, while people stared at the scenario with frightfully widened eyes.   
Rick felt caught in a déjà-vu, felt the same helplessness and panic that had instilled him that night in the woods when Negan had killed both Glenn and Abraham and almost forced him to chop Carl’s arm off. Almost.

         _“It won’t turn out the way it did for your boy.”_

He felt a sudden wave of nausea when he saw what was left of Daryl’s hand. No doubt the archer would never shoot his crossbow or ride his bike ever again. No doctor in the world, _this_ world, would be able to mend an injury this sever, even if they were given the chance. But it didn’t stop here.

         “Holy shit, Daryl”, Negan’s voice derailed Rick’s train of thought, “that must hurt, man. Someone best give you a hand.” 

He laughed about his bad pun, before taking a sudden step closer to Rick.

         “And again ‘right-hand man’ gets a whole new meaning. Sorry I damaged your loverboy, Rick, but since he won’t be needing that hand anymore … Got a pen?”

Rick felt like being punched to the guts and understood instantly where this was headed. He shook his head fiercely.

         “Never mind”, Negan gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder, “luckily I’ve got a right-hand man who’s way more useful than Daryl there. Simon – pen!” 

As soon as the requested item was handed to him, he crouched next to the archer who was bravely gitting his teeth against the pain, and drew a line across his forearm, same way he had done with Carl. Only this time he didn’t bother to tie the limb off with his belt – Daryl wasn’t supposed to survive this anyhow.

         “Alright”, the Savior commented when he stood again. “Rick – chop it off!” 

Rick was as pale as a sheet with tears pooling in his eyes. 

         “No”, it was more of a whine than defiance. “I’ll do whatever you want. Anything. Just please …”  
          
         “You bet you will! And what I want you to do is chop – it – the hell – off. Now!”

When Rick still hesitated, Negan turned around to Arat who still held Carl at gunpoint.

         “Arat!”

         “No!” Rick and Daryl’s yell came simultaneously and the archer craned his neck to look up to his lover.

         “Rick, just do it, man. ‘s okay.” 

Shaking like aspen leaf the younger man dropped to his knees next to his partner, while he pulled the hatchet from his belt. 

         “Daryl …” he started, but was cut short by Negan’s furious yell instantly.

         “You _don’t_ talk to him! You _don’t_ look at him! There’s not gonna be any sappy last words and shit. Chop the fucking arm off _now_ or your kid’s gonna lose his other eye.”

Rick was breathing in fits when he lifted the hatchet and at the same moment felt something inside of him dying. It wouldn’t stop with the arm, he knew it wouldn’t. When this was over Daryl and he, they would both be dead. But unlike the archer Rick would have to keep breathing, keep going through the motions ever single day while his heart and soul were shattered into a million pieces.  
No one came back from something like this. No one. 


	5. Tomorrow's a new day

Rick closed his eyes when the hatchet came down and the agonizing, gut-wrenching scream that followed almost stopped his heart.

Oh, God, no, this couldn’t be happening. They really had him do this – to Daryl. His Daryl. This had just been blow No. 1 and he dreaded to imagine how many more Daryl would have to endure before it was over. Rick couldn’t even end it mercifully quick, because spoiling Negan’s fun would mean more consequences – for Carl, for him, for anybody else. Daryl wouldn’t want that.

          “No, no, no.”

          “Rick.”

There was Daryl’s voice from afar, barely able to reach him through the noise of blood swooshing in his ears painfully loud.    
Rick didn’t dare open his eyes. Didn’t dare look at what he had done and meet the pain in Daryl’s eyes. Would the archer still love him when this was over? Would he understand that Rick didn’t have a choice? Would he …

         “Rick! C’mon, man, snap out of it.” 

Azure blue eyes flew open and with an audible gasp Rick looked around himself, confusion written all over his face while he panted heavily.    
Why was it so dark all of a sudden? Where …? How …? What …?”

An arm snaking around his waist and someone pulling him close had him flinch, still not comprehending what was going on.

         “Hey, relax.” Daryl’s voice was gentle and soothing. “’twas just a dream, breathe.” 

Rick’s head whipped around and in the twilight of the full moon that shone through the bedroom window he just stared at the man by his side with wide eyes.   
The next moment he pulled him into a crushing embrace, tears running down his cheeks.

         “God, Daryl.”

         “Just Daryl’s okay”, the archer teased softly to take some of the tension away, with little result though. 

The younger man was still shaking like aspen leaf and Daryl ran his hands soothingly over his back while returning the embrace.

         “The hell did ya dream, man? Ya ‘s screamin’ as though …”

He broke off and frowned. As if _what_? Did he really have to ask what Rick had been dreaming about after all they had already been through, after all they’d seen over the years? Was it so hard to guess?  
          
         “Who?” he breathed against Rick’s ear and the way he was being pulled even closer against the heaving chest of his partner instantly answered that question.

         “They came for you”, Rick croaked out. “Negan and a whole bunch of his men. There was no way you could have run, nowhere to hide. And turning yourself in freely wouldn’t have changed a thing. He just wanted blood, wanted to see you getting punished for running.” 

Daryl resumed his soothing stroking, not saying a word. What was he to say to that? _It was just a dream_ was so easy to say when someone woke from a nightmare, but in this case the nightmare hadn’t ended. They were still right in the middle of it and whatever it was that Rick had gone through in his sleep, it may become reality at any given moment. Today. Tomorrow. Nothing Daryl could have said would change that fact.

         “They had me do it”, Rick continued barely audible. "There was nothing I could do – they held Carl at gunpoint, _everybody_. I couldn’t …”

         “Ssshh, ‘s okay.”

         “No.” Rick’s reply was sharp as a gunshot and he pulled back unexpectedly. “It’s not okay, Daryl. Don’t you get it? This is what’s going to happen when they find you. You’re not safe here and you can’t turn yourself in. Please …” Rick’s inflection was pleading now, “go back to the Kingdom. At least for a while longer this may be the best place and I promise, I _swear_ I’ll do everything to find weapons and more people soon, so we can finish these bastards off.”

A deafening silence hung in the air as soon as Rick had fallen quiet and unmoving the two men just looked at each other for an incredibly long moment. The leader wasn’t even aware of the fact that he’d been holding his breath when Daryl finally said:

         “Breathe, Rick. Ain’t helpin’ no one if yer gettin’ a stroke or somethin’.”

         “Whatever it takes.”

Daryl raised an eyebrow.

         “Guess ya even mean that.” He breathed in deep. “That King’s a jackass”, he picked up with a snort, “but at least he’s thinkin’ of his people, unlike that prick in Hilltop. – And I like the tiger. Think she likes me, too. Maybe ‘cause we got things in common.”

A smile tugged on Rick’s lips.

         “Yeah?” he lifted a hand and gently pushed one of Daryl’s long strands of hair out of his friend’s face. “Like what? Lots of hair and an attitude?” he teased mildly.   
          
         “We’re both caged”, came the surprising reply.

         “You’re not caged”, Rick tried to protest. “I left you there for your own good, because …”

         “Ya coulda asked, trust me ta make the right decision, but ya didn’t.”    
There was clearly a tang of accusation in Daryl’s inflection before he added:    
         “Ya know, I think even if Ezekiel would set that tiger free – she’d stay. ‘cause she loves him. But maybe she’d like a choice instead a’ bars and chains and bein’ told what to do.” 

Rick’s mouth was parched all of a sudden. All these years Daryl had followed him loyally, had respected his decisions and leadership and in all that time it had never crossed Rick’s mind that the archer played it that way because he loved him too much to break out, although he had felt _caged_ all that time. 

         “I’m sorry”, the younger man croaked after a moment of consternation. “I’m so used to telling people what to do by now that … I should learn to keep my mouth shut, huh?”

         “Depends”, Daryl answered with a teasing sparkle in his eyes and the innuendo had Rick laugh softly. 

         “I’ll keep that in mind”, he replied before he leaned in to kiss the other man deeply. 

He would have loved to take this further again or just lay snuggled up to Daryl like before and go back to sleep, but after their kiss ended he pulled back reluctantly instead.   
The dream still haunted him and had his heart beat frantically against the inside of his ribs.    
They would be back. Maybe tomorrow, maybe in a few days – and maybe in ten minutes. Every moment Daryl stayed longer may have sealed his fate. They had to make a decision – Daryl did.

         “Whadda you wanna do?” Rick croaked, annoyed about how weak his voice sounded. 

He wanted to be stong, especially for Daryl, but once again he came to realize that while he was the leader of this town it was more often than not his partner who was the source of strength and guidance. What would he ever do without him?

         “’m gonna go back to the Kingdom”, the older man announced while looking Rick firmly in the eyes.   
         “But not for long”, he added stubbornly. “Ya may be right and it’s the safest place for now, but that ain’t gonna last. And I told ya – ain’t gonna put all a’ ‘em peeps at danger there. But it may buy ya the time ya need ta build that army we need, so if it makes ya feel better, I’ll give it a try.”

Rick sighed.

         “Making me _feel better_ isn’t the priority, Daryl.”  
          
         “Is to me. Always was.” He pecked Rick’s lips before adding: “And ‘s ma damn decision now, so stop discussin’ things with me here and get going.” 

The younger man smiled sadly. This cockiness now was a pretence, a shield to hide Daryl’s fear, but Rick let it pass uncommented. 

With a nod he swung his legs out of bed and started to get dressed. When he noticed Daryl not following suit he cast him a probing glance and saw the archer sit motionless next to the still sleeping Judith.

“That kid sleeps like a log”, he commented matter-of-factly.

“I’ll get Carl. He needs to take care of her while I take you back to the Kingdom.”

“Man, I can walk or lemme borrow one a’ ‘em cars. Ya don’t have ta …”

He looked up and noticed Rick’s look on him, the _urge_ in the other man’s eyes visible even in the eerie early morning twilight. No doubt, making sure Daryl got back to the Kingdom safely, seeing him off, spending that extra time with him was something Rick definitly _had_ to do, and the archer wasn’t going to fight him over this. 

 

When Alexandria’s leader returned a few minutes later, his son by his side, they found Daryl standing by the window, looking out into the seemingly peaceful night while he was holding Judith on his arm, gently stroking the little head that was resting on his shoulder. 

         “Ready?” Rick said softly, well aware that this was an entirely silly thing to ask. 

         “’s ready as I’ll ever be”, Daryl’s reply confirmed this.

He turned around and with a nod to Carl walked over to him to hand Judith over. When the little girl was settled on the teenager’s arms, a frown appeared on Carl’s face while he looked at Daryl, then to his father and back. 

         “Er, none of my business, but why are you wearing each other’s shirt?”

Somehow he knew the answer even before he saw his father’s ears turn a deeper shade of red and heard Daryl reply grumpily:

         “Yer right, none a’ yer business, kid. Tell ya when yer older.”

The remark had Carl grin for a moment, but then he composed himself quickly and simply commented:

         “Cool.”

Which may have referred to the ‘telling later’ part as well as to the turn his father’s relationship with the archer had most obviously taken.

         “Take care, Daryl”, Carl said gently, not knowing what else to say. 

And sometimes not saying more than necessary might have been better than saying the wrong thing. If he had learned anything from Daryl it was that. 

         “Ya, too. And take care a’ yer sis.”

         “Sure thing.”

With a nod in farewell Carl left and disappeared into the nursery a moment later. 

         “Man, gimme ma shirt back.”

The grumpy remark had a smile tug on Rick’s lips.

         “Don’t like my style?”

         “Whadda ya talkin’ ‘bout? They’re almost identical – yers is just a li’l tight across the chest.”

Even while he said that his fingers started reopening the buttons, but Rick noticed one or the other tender stroke over the soft fabric and realized that Daryl would have loved to keep his shirt as much as he would have loved to keep his. The size wasn’t why they were being switched again.   
Neither of them was ashamed of what they had now, what they _were_ , but especially Daryl would have preferred a more subtle approach at letting everybody else know about it. Carl had caught on instantly, had known right away when, how and _why_ those shirts had come off and that was perfectly fine. The boy was the closest member of their family – he had a right to know.    
As for the rest … They would understand, they would appreciate it, they would be happy for them. But not today and not tomorrow, either. There was a war ahead, more important things to focus on.    
Daryl breathed in deep.    
He was proud of the man on his side and the last thing he wanted was for people to wonder from now on if Rick’s decisions were biased as soon as they included him, were made because _he_ was the priority.   
_ They _ knew what they had in each other, that was enough. 

 

Dawn was just breaking when the car passed the gate and headed in the direction of the Kingdom.    
They drove in silence, didn’t say a word and didn’t touch, either, and yet there wasn’t any distance between them and whatever needed to be said was said by looks alone.

The sun was up by the time they reached their destination and the sentries on guard recognized them instantly. The gate was opened without any questions asked, but for a long moment both Rick and Daryl just stood outside and looked at each other, neither one willing to say good-bye.   
In the end the archer shrugged and said:

         “Gonna get goin’ now, but ya best keep yer promise ta come back soon. Ain’t no guy for one night, man.”

         “I sure hope not”, Rick replied with a smile before leaning in to kiss Daryl, but the archer’s hand to his chest stopped him.

         “No mushy scenes in public, Grimes.” The ghost of a smile appeared on his face. “If the folks back home don’t know yet, sure ain’t the business of the horse brigade here.”

He hesitated another moment, then he turned on his heels and headed for the gate. On reaching it Daryl turned around once more and cast a look to Rick who watched him with a sad expression and deep lines of worry on his face.   
In few large steps Daryl was back with him and pulled him into a tight hug that was returned instantly.

         “What about the ‘no mushy scenes in public’ rule?” he whispered to Daryl with a smile.

         “Ain’t mushy. ‘s an extended brofist.”

Despite himself Rick had to laugh at that while he pulled back. 

         “I’m gonna be back soon”, he promised once more.

         “I know”, Daryl replied before turning and walking through the gate. 

A moment later it had closed behind him and he was out of sight. 

 

When Rick returned to Alexandria he was surprised to find Carl still in the house, watching Judith just like he had told him to do. That was a thing unheard of, but it left him with the hope that miracles did happen once in a while.

Gabriel was missing, as was the entire contents of the pantry. That, too, came as a surprise, because by now Rick truly trusted and respected the man. He had proved to be worthy of that trust, had cared for and protected Judith on several occasions and had found his courage.    
He didn’t believe it. Didn’t see that Gabriel had betrayed them and when they found the secretly left hint _“Boat”_ the situation was obvious. Someone had been here, inside these walls, inside one of their houses and took both Gabriel and their supplies with them.   
A highly alarming occurance, not just because one of their people was missing and the food supplies of the entire town were gone, but mainly because apparently they had a security issue on their hands. This time it was just the food and weapons, next time the intruders might kill them in their sleep the way Rick’s group had done to the Saviors at the compound.   
Safety was an illusion. Walls and gates and sentries wasn’t stopping those who meant them harm, no matter what they did. A realization that had Rick’s guts in knots once again. 

They followed the priest’s trail, back to the lake and beyond. And ‘beyond’ was closer to the Saviors’ headquaters than ever before. It should have unnerved and worried Rick to be this close to them, but when they had found the explosives things had looked brighter from one moment to the next.    
This was a first step. It wasn’t nearly enough, but it would help their mission and may shift the balance in their favor.

“You can smile. We’ve made it.”

Michonne meant well and Rick understood why she thought mowing down half a herd of walkers and getting their hands on a whole lot of explosives was reason enough for smiling, but he couldn’t.    
His thoughts were with Daryl, every single second of the day. He couldn’t help it. Kept wondering how the archer was feeling, if he was alright, if he was able to adjust and cope at least a little, if he was really _safe_ for the time being. He missed him achingly, simple as that, so what reason was there for smiling?        

The trap sprang unexpectedly and caught them entirely off guard. They had followed Gabriel’s trail to a junkyard and before they were able to react in the least, they were surrounded by a large number of people who held them at gunpoint.   
Michonne didn’t smile any longer and neither did Tara, Rosita and Aaron. It was a tight situation and if these people were as hostile as they appeared, this could just as well have meant the end of the line for them.    
Rick was well aware of that and still … If they meant to kill them, wouldn’t they have done so already? Wouldn’t his own people react in like ways if the tables were turned? This may have been precaution rather than aggression and he held on to that believe.   
He saw fear and the will to fight in the eyes of his companions, but his own heart seemed to grow lighter with each passing second. They apparently didn’t see what he was seeing. To them the situation was a threat, a danger, but Rick saw a chance, a possibility, _hope._   
These weren’t just people – they were an army, weapons, manpower and he had made a promise to find just that.    
Most of all though they may have meant one thing – _life_. Life for the man he loved.

And Rick smiled. 

 

\- The end -  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who took the time to read and I especially appreciate the kudos and comments. 
> 
> There will be a sequel to this story called (how unique) - _Say Yes_. LoL It's got nothing to do with episode 7x12, so again - no Richonne. Just Rickyl. And I promise, that story will have no Negan, so it's gonna be much lighter with some fluff and aawww moments.  
>  It's getting beta'ed at the moment, but I'd love to hear from you again when it's up.

**Author's Note:**

> I plan to update daily.  
> Hope you like it so far. Please, let me know what you think! I so love feedback.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Say 'Yes'](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10324538) by [legolastariel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/legolastariel/pseuds/legolastariel)




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